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Last week we talked about what your junior high textbook forgot to tell you about self esteem – that it’s not a single, internal thermometer, it’s actually made up of multiple components that can shrink or swell independently of one another. So today, when we talk about “raising” self-esteem, we know that it isn’t a simple proposition. […]

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  • Alyssa - This is so timely. I have been struggling a lot with some self esteem issues and habits along with really addressing and combating some negative automatic thoughts and beliefs. I LOVE this idea! Keep them coming please Jenika! ?ReplyCancel

  • Maria Manjelo - Very motivational website. Im glad I found it. Will be reviewing it closer. Thank youReplyCancel

  • David C - Interesting read that, after extensive research I found out its good practice to follow some worthwhile photography blogs and because of this I have been able to add new ideas to my personal development and marketing. Cheers for this, glad I signed up for your newsletter.

    Regards
    DTCReplyCancel

  • Mike Constantinou - Thank you Jenika,

    really good follow-up from your last blog post (& there’s nothing wrong with some Takei love!) Looking forward to your next instalment.

    Warm Regards,

    MikeReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Haha, of course nothing wrong with some Takei love. Just that if I were aiming specifically for it, I’d probably post a lot more baby panda bear videos 😉 Hehe. Have a wonderful week Mike.ReplyCancel

  • Kath Scott - Jenika, your emails are one of the only ones I ever open and read right away! Probably because I know that I will always come away feeling more positive about myself and my biz. Just wanted to say THANK YOU!!ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie cost - Such interesting info. I struggle constantly with self esteem. In fact I think I’m currently avoiding growing my business by not doing anything to help it grow because then I can’t fail. I guess recognizing that is the first step, right? I’m going to work on the first two steps you have written about. Thank youReplyCancel

  • Susan - I always enjoy your writing style and insight!ReplyCancel

  • Cindi - Love this blog post Jenika! I have the bad habit of globalizing everyday in all parts of my life and wow, it is SO bad for my self-esteem! Just this morning when I was taking the kids to camp we had to stop by Panara for muffins for a quick breakfast in the car because we had no breakfast food at home. Right away my thoughts went to “I’m such a horrible mother – I can’t even feed my kids a healthy breakfast!” After reading this I can reframe it to “The reason we have no food is that the last 2 days I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping because we’ve been at the pool, had orthodontist appts, sports practices, hosted a baseball team pool party, and spent the evening reconnecting with other friends we haven’t seen in 6 months. A breakfast of pumpkin muffins does NOT make me a bad mom!” I think similar thoughts about my business on a daily basis as well. Although I don’t have an offline profile, I do have a Pinterest board with inspirational quotes that I look at when I’m feeling bad about myself. Keep the great info coming! Thanks so much!ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - This brought tears to my eyes. You’re definitely not a bad mom to give your kids pumpkin muffins <3 I'm so glad you stopped your mind in its tracks to see all the other wonderful things you've been prioritizing (activities, friendships, community, all things that make your kids feel safe and loved). You keep going on, momma, your work is powerful and important, and you're doing great.ReplyCancel

  • Robert - Good info & reminder in here & a good read. Thanks. :)ReplyCancel

  • Hippychickee - Finally, some answers and solutions that make sense! I have struggled with self-esteem ever since I was a little girl. Thank you for this information. I am going to give this a go. I’m looking forward to your next newsletter. Peace! ??ReplyCancel

  • Dan G - Jenika,
    Thank you for the informative post!
    I’ve always seeked out interesting things to do, visit and learn. These are my antidote for a fairly weak implicit self esteem. I love flipping thru my photo albums, remembering old friends and the fun places I’ve been. It’s like the offline profile you describe, and it never fails to bring a smile.
    I also appreciate the info about globalizing. I’ve considered quitting my photography business a few times. I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking about where I fit in, and that I’m chasing something I’ll never reach. I want to continue to fight but I don’t know how much energy I have left. This post gives me a tool to use. Thanks!
    Regards,
    DanReplyCancel

  • Jessica S - Absolutely perfect! Trying to manage my time while starting a new photography business has left me feeling I’m not good enough. As an OCD mom who USED to be organized this has been so hard. Thank you so much for all your helpful suggestions!ReplyCancel

Remember those junior high health textbooks – the ones that covered all kinds of then-awkward bodily system stuff? And how there was always a chapter about “Emotions”?  (Usually illustrated with six photos of the same face sporting different expressions.) In that chapter, there was usually a banal paragraph about Self-Esteem, which basically said: Self-Esteem is important. You should have some. […]

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  • Leeanne - Nicely said, clearly written
    I understood it all.
    I’m beginning to trust your judgement
    And let you guide me.
    ThanksReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Thanks for the kind words Leeane :-)ReplyCancel

  • Steve - Thanks a much for this article. Fantastic! So many people really need to read and digest this message.ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Thanks Steve! I agree, I think a lot of people could benefit from a bit of info here…feel free to pass this post on if you encounter someone :-)ReplyCancel

  • Annie - FASCINATING! A book mark and read over and over again later when you need a little reminder about yourself!ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Thanks for bookmarking! I find this stuff fascinating too, glad others do, too.ReplyCancel

  • Rick Bartrand - That opened up a lot of information that filled in some, much needed, missing peices. Thank you for posting.ReplyCancel

  • Joe Hymes - I just wanted to say thank you for the post on self esteem. It was just what I needed to read this morning as I deal with some issues in my life. It really helped shine a light on some things I need to work on. I look forward to reading you next post. Keep up the good work. Thanks again.

    Joe HymesReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Thanks for coming to read the post, Joe! I’m honored by your comment. Notes like yours are what make writing this blog so rewarding. Thanks.ReplyCancel

  • Dawn - Jenika, this post is brilliant. I’ve read a lot of self-help type books but never one about self esteem. And I had never given self-esteem a lot of thought. You explained these concepts very well.

    When I read this part,

    “And of course we want to spend less time doing things that make us feel lousy about ourselves. Sometimes, we avoid them. (Which is precisely why we might not ever get better at them.)”

    I couldn’t help but smile to myself. I have a confession to make. I am not great at keeping the upstairs of my house tidy. This is the kids’ domain and it overwhelms me, even when I’m not up there. So I’ve avoided deep cleaning the two rooms for a long time.

    But, this week, one child moved rooms (which included our painting the purple room a Teenage Boy Blue) and we assembled a monstrous IKEA bed for the other child. To accomplish all that, I had to face a situation that made me feel awful about myself – my seeming powerlessness about keeping the upstairs in order.

    The kids and I spent hours and hours going over ever little item in their rooms. We sorted, we threw away, we organized. The rooms are 95% done and they look tidy and neat. I can hardly believe it. What surprised me about doing all that is that by confronting the problem that I tried to ignore, I feel empowered. It truly feels as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

    Thanks again, Jenika! I look forward to your next post.ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Thanks for this fabulous story, Dawn! Oh, how that principle applies to so many things. And half the time when I start to do something I’ve been avoiding, I find it’s not as hard as I dreamed it to be. Or that I can manage it if I ask for help with the tough parts. We are capable of so much more than we typically seek to accomplish, it’s just amazing. Anyway, hope the final bits of the home makeover go well! Sounds awesome! Enjoy your home + family.ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - You explained it in simple enough terms but it *feels* much more complicated and dependent on inside and outside forces beyond our control. I haven’t thought about self esteem as something I could consciously improve overall.ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Oh it is complicated, for sure, and there are a lot of forces at work. The good news is you can take some control though. There are some legitimate, empirically-validated ways to do it, too. Hope you come back for the next post. :-)ReplyCancel

  • Amanda - This was enlightening. Looking back I can definitely see how this works in my mind. Thank you. I’m looking forward to hearing how to raise self esteem.ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - It’s cool, I think, when you learn some definitions or structure for something, and it helps you see past experience in a new light. See you again next time!ReplyCancel

  • Daniel - I think this article really helped me to get a different point of view of myself. Right now I’m just in that crucial moment of becoming a photographer (after quitting to my engineering office work for 10 years) and feeling very bad about thinking that I may not be a good artist. However, after analyzing the reasons, I realized that at least for me, it is very important to have a good feedback from others about my work, and specially those who I consider professionals photographers. And that’s the case with this social media page (500px) where I been trying (and somehow failing) to get a good score on my work. It is really depressing to post something that you consider as a very good work and get such a bad review… How ever, I understand that I may not have a good rate when it comes to woman body and sunset pictures but at the end of the day, photography is not just about that but many other topics. Maybe Robert Capa wouldn’t had have any good score at 500px as well, who knows… And this somehow raise my mood, but not for long.ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Hey Daniel – thanks for sharing some of your experience with us. Good on you for seeking feedback – that’s a great way to improve. (And don’t worry, if you were *overly* concerned with good feedback, you probably wouldn’t post anything at all, it would feel like too big of an emotional risk, so well done). You might find a few different outlets for feedback, too, just to get a spread of ideas and suggestions. Sometimes running with one crowd only can get you just a narrow set of thoughts, good to have a variety, I think. Keep at it! Thanks for your note.ReplyCancel

  • Moira - Your posts never disappoint. xxxReplyCancel

  • Charlotte Reeves - Jenika, as always, you’ve made me think! I’m going to pay more attention to how I’m feeling and thinking about things on a daily basis and see if I can identify my self esteem types/levels etc. I will try and remember to report back!ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Major hugs to you Charlotte. Hope you’re having a good week.ReplyCancel

  • Carol Yamada - Thanks – this is a though-provoking post that ties into things I’ve been pondering lately. Eager for the next one!ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Glad to provoke some thoughts, haha. :-) See you again here soon, then!ReplyCancel

  • Kelli + Daniel Taylor Photography - Thanks so much for tackling this common but rarely discussed issue for artists. Can’t wait for the next installment.ReplyCancel

  • Allison - Great post, as always! So relevant to every part of life, and to everyone, not just creatives. I shared it on my personal FB page because there are lots of people who need to know this stuff about self esteem. Can’t wait for part 2!ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Great to hear from you Allison, and thank you for sharing! You’re the best. <3ReplyCancel

  • Larissa Bernardes - Once again, you nailed it! I’ve been avoiding.
    Will keep an eye on my feelings, relating them to what you wrote.

    Thanks!ReplyCancel

  • tanya smith - Oh, I’m totally high implicit, but low explicit self-esteem! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say on how to improve it. :)ReplyCancel

  • Angelique - Hi Jenika,

    Thank you for another thought provoking and highly valuable post. It couldn’t have come at a better time, as I’ve been working on improving my self esteem for the past week. I never knew just how complicated it can be, and I love that it’s not as Black and White as I originally thought.

    Thanks again! Have a lovely day. :)ReplyCancel

  • Annabel - This article brought me such relief to begin to understand that it’s perfectly normal to have such swings in emotions about myself!ReplyCancel

  • abbie - what an interesting article.I think a lot of us would like that magic wand, but it’s not thre, at least I have never found t!ReplyCancel

A comment came in on last week’s article that said, essentially: Okay Jenika, I’ve read in several places now that you need to find your ideal client’s problem and show you’ve got the solution.  (Yep, this is true.) “However, as a baby photographer, I don’t really believe I’m solving any problems.  To me, you either […]

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  • Rebecca - I feel like I should know this stuff… But thank you for putting it so simply and in a way that makes marketing feel approachable and also inspiring.ReplyCancel

  • Susan - Love this! I look forward to your posts. Always so insightful. :)ReplyCancel

  • Kristin Milito - I absolutely LOVE this article. I have often read about and tried to put into practice how to solve my client’s problem. While doing this, I ran into so many unanswered questions. I had originally thought that addressing #1 was enough but now I realixe that yes, #2 and #3 are REALLY important. (Especially with spouses with different priorities…I know there’s a few husbands that nixed it for their wives.) I am going to take these tomorrow and start to begin looking at what my clients needs are and find a unique way in which I will fulfill that for them. Thank you for this!

    Best to You,
    KristinReplyCancel

  • Lauren - Thank you for this article! I am also a baby photographer and this has definitely been a question for me. What problem am I solving? This totally clicked! But looking forward, I’m not understanding how you answer these problems if they are not always expressed by the client? Idk if that actually makes sense. Are clients coming out and saying these problems and we are answering with solutions?ReplyCancel

    • Jenika - Glad it clicked! And no, your clients are not going to come out and say these things. (When was the last time you contacted someone and said “by the way the reason I left your website without booking was ________”? Probably never.) You have to get out and talk to them! My Irresistible Website e-book gives some tips on how to do this and how to profile someone, but talking to past clients is key. 😀ReplyCancel

  • Charlotte Reeves - Another great post Jenika, thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Oriana - This is a wonderful post, really specific but also super good big picture stuff. Thank you!ReplyCancel

I’ve begun to think of creative business owners as the world’s most reluctant group of superheroes. Imagine:  You’re a superhero.  Cape and all.  And you see a building on fire.  What do you do? 1) Stand on the sidelines, scuff your superhero boots, and say quietly: “I know how to save the day.  Do you […]

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  • Charlotte Reeves - The beauty of the advice you give is in the simplicity, Jenika! It all seems so obvious when you lay it out like this. I’m taking this fantastic advice and running with it, thanks so much!ReplyCancel

  • Alexandre - I’ve always admired your writing style and to-the-point content but sometimes you manage to post nuggets like this one that are pure gold. And I don’t like shiny stuff…ReplyCancel

  • Patty - Thank you for the insite. Great post!ReplyCancel

  • Samantha - This is so true. Thank you for sharing! Will keep this in mind at my next client meeting!ReplyCancel

  • Maureen A Vaccaro - great writing and topicsReplyCancel

  • Spencer Lum - As always, spot on advice, Jenika, and so well put!ReplyCancel

  • Dawn - “But if you speak to their concern – I know you’re worried about the way you’ll look. Lots of people have this worry, including the people you see in my portfolio here – suddenly the chances of their exact desired outcome coming true feels a lot more certain.”

    I definitely need to work on this aspect of my writing.

    Brilliant, as always. Thanks, Jenika!ReplyCancel

  • Oli - I enjoy reading your blog Jenika, I’ve read this advice many times before from different marketing gurus, find your ideal client’s problem and show them you’ve got the solution, however as a baby photographer I don’t really believe I’m solving any problems, to me I see it you either want professional photos of your baby or you don’t. I don’t see me taking their photos as solving any of their problems. It’s more of a desire than a problem. Does that make sense?ReplyCancel

    • Online@inspirations-training.co.uk - There may not be a burning field at that time but with new burns you are creating a lasting visual memory of a moment in time that will never occur again. Perhaps in the future circumstances will change and that precious memory will become priceless. You can’t go back and take memorable images later. That is what you are safe guarding against future loss and regret.ReplyCancel